Precursor to Bible Study

Part 1

I do not understand God very well, yet it is important to understand God to understand Sacred Scripture and all teachings of the Church and thus the teachings of God. It seems that whenever I read Scriptures, I have a sense of faith, this implicit understanding of God and so I am empowered by the Holy Spirit to understand Scripture without going offroad too much. Yet now I am asked by God after so much failures to write responses to His Word in my own understanding, that which is given by God of course.

In order to write an adequate response to God, implicit understanding is insufficient, it must be made explicit and that is what I plan to do in this writing. I have received numerous revelations by God on what He is, but as of now, my mind is drawing up a blank. It seems in this writing even, God wants me to trust Him completely, for Him to supply my every thought and my every word. That is how this writing is to be formed.

In my past writings and ideas, God is defined as the sum of all reality, or absolute reality, which translates into "Union of All Things". It means everything is based upon God and is a manifestation of God simply put. God is Raw Existence, or in my more common wording, Pure Existence. God is also Absolute Infinity, for that reason all things are in Him. However this introduces a problem, does that mean there is darkness or evil in God? 

Darkness and evil are interesting objects that they are simply defined as negations and contradictions towards what is actually there with true ontological substance, that is the objects we know as light and good. When there is no light, there is darkness, when there is no good, there is evil. It seems to me that goodness is aligned more with existence and creation, while evil is more aligned to destruction and nothingness.

Now indeed that the experiences of suffering is a real thing, it has substance and is not mere absence, but we must understand the meaning of suffering. Suffering is the result of some sort of absence, most importantly the absence of understanding and knowledge. When one lacks proper understanding of God, and thus absolute reality, they suffer. Though it is unknown if someone were to possess no understanding at all. 

The Buddhist view is that the solution to suffering is the elimination of desire. The contradiction between desire and reality is what leads to suffering. However, the Christian view is that the solution to suffering is the fulfillment of desire, and the only possible fulfillment to our desires is absolute reality itself also known as God. For it seems to me that the happiness obtained between eradicating desire and fulfilling desire is greater when desire is fulfilled. It does not make explicit rational sense, but there is a spiritual sense to it.

Part 2

The Buddhist take on suffering, that is to eradicate desire, is impossible. Foremost, one is obliged to take on a state of existence and experience, whatever that state is. One will always be in a state of desire, be it the desire to have no desires at all, or a more particular desire. So as desire or will is an inherent part of being, it is impossible to eradicate. The only way one can release themselves from desire is by being in a complete state of fulfillment, as such the desires are completed and nothing happens anymore, this is the beatific vision.

In the Christian view, suffering is a contradiction between a reality and the reality of goodness that is God. Desire itself is not the root cause of suffering, rather the contradiction between reality and desire. Once desire is fulfilled, by the absolute reality of God, all pursuit is finished and the struggle ends. As such, in the tragic history of humanity, all suffering is caused by our first parent's decision to separate from and contradict the essence of goodness that is God. 

As such, the notion that not all suffering comes from sin is false. All suffering has its roots in sinfulness, without sin there can be no suffering. This is the intended path of God, for everything to be good without any suffering, for suffering is a contradiction to His essence. However, in a paradoxical manner, total goodness requires the risk of evil to enter creation. For the peak of goodness, love, arises out of freedom, and with freedom there is the potentiality of evil. However, God has complete control over all things, and as such He can conquer evil. 

Now back to the idea of God. This text is not meant to be a rational justification of God's existence or God's nature as there is no such thing. There is only the spiritual justification of God, and that a simple contemplation of created reality as it is will reveal the absolute reality of God, the source of the created order. I did not write this text with my own understanding for I am slowly becoming tired, instead it was written with the aid of divine understanding of God Himself. This text is also meant to be a precursor to my Bible Study which God imposes upon myself. And now we are ready to enter into the third and final section of this text, an introduction to the Bible.

Part 3

In the history of the created order, man has fallen away from grace and now needs to be saved from their own failures. Man cannot save himself, so he must be saved by his creator. For that reason God reveals Himself once more in a continous chain of revelations through many prophets and eventually culminating in His own revelation in the man Yeshua haMashiah or more commonly known as Jesus Christ.

These revelations were recorded and written down, in the beginning in the chosen nation of Israel, which then extends into the entire world as is in the Church. The compilation of all of these revelations written down which God ordains us to know for our salvation is what we now know as the Bible. The Bible is obviously written by human hands, yet we believe in faith that God Himself in His Spirit dictated to the sacred authors of the Bible on what to write. As such we believe that the Bible is God's Word.

Why must we read and understand the Bible? It is because not all truths of God can be discerned by the human intellect, especially when we as a family have fallen away from His glory. Therefore we require the aid of the Bible to instill within us a correct understanding of God. For correct understanding leads to correct faith in God which is the source of our salvation. As such, this is the reason God ordains me to read and understand His Word.

14 May 2022

The Lord speaks to me, in Scripture, in my life, in the signs of the world. In my heart, I hear Him. Yet it is a gentle and soft voice which I can barely hear. I do not know what He wants me to write, all I know is that He wants me to write. I do not know if I am a good writer or not. I do not know much things, I do not know much about my Lord. I've read Scripture, part of it, but not the entirety. As such my understanding is incomplete. What am I supposed to write?

I feel a terrible frustration within me, that I cannot write freely as I use to. I feel that I am in a darkness. I am in a prison, who put me in there I know not. I act in obedience to God, but I know that deep down I am a disobedient little child of God. God reveals my sins to me, it feels that He opens and shuts my mind at His will. He makes me understand, and at other times He makes me ignorant and stupid, such as now. Yet surely God wants me to know Him, and not be stupid.

Surely God cannot be the source of my difficult mind, it has to be another thing. Yet if I see that it can be a tool of goodness for me, then God may be the source of my difficulties. He may be the wall between me and Himself, that is understanding of Him. Today I slept a lot, played some Minecraft, joined the legionary meeting, and now at 21.10 I try to write what I can write. Despite not knowing what to write, I have successfully written 3 paragraphs, praise the Lord! 

What is my purpose in life? To serve God and to serve man, that is clear. The more difficult question is how am I to do those things? The answer is given to me, preach the Gospel, preach Christ, preach God, and do good things to others. The Church is remarkably clear in her teachings which she receives from God. So in truth there is not supposed to be any confusion. Everything has been revealed by God in such a way that I have no excuse. Yet at the same time nothing is clear, and yet again my heart and soul is moved by God to have faith and submit in complete trust in Him. 

My acts are supposed to be clear, to study and to write my studies, that is all. Then I pray, as much as I can, the mass, the rosary, the catena, the queen of heaven, the divine office, and the routine prayers. So what is lacking? The areas are clear, very clear, they have been designated and revealed by God. I need not think too high or too complicated. I need only move in the direction in which He points to. So when I cannot think in a certain manner, then it is probably not God's will for me to be there. 

To be a man of God is not to be great, at least we are not to be great in the earthly sense. It is to be humble, simple, small, serving, loving, faithful, hopeful. Those are the marks of the man of God, and that is what I must seek. I have been taught in my days of the spiritual exercise, that is I must not seek "understanding" more than ignorance. I must not seek complete knowledge of everything, rather I must seek trust in God, I must seek faith. I must seek what brings me closer to my God, rather than anything else. I understand now, that He is reminding me that I have lost sight of what's important. I was consumed and attached to being Him (being perfect), instead of being attached to Him.

There is a subtle difference, between being God and being attached to God. In the first thing we are obsessed with being independent, being autonomous, being perfect, not needing anything higher than ourselves. In the second part, we are not obsessed, but attached with dependency on God, heeding God's Law, striving to improve ourselves, and to need God, the Most High. I have been lamenting on being perfect on my own terms instead of being holy in God's terms. If I am to lament my life, I am to lament the way I have dishonored God, the subtle sins of my life, that is what I must repent from.

I know now what God wants of me in this current period of life, to study Scriptures, and to study Him on His terms. My writings shall not be of my own independence or the greatness of my mind, rather it shall be the greatness of God's mind. For my mind is small and is not great, and I now understand that I have never been great at anything. I am an ordinary joe, which God gives graces to greatly. That He gives different graces and retract graces at times is His prerogative right, I simply have to adjust according to His graces.

Writing 6

There are 2 kinds of philosophies, the philosophy of man and the philosophy of God. The philosophy of man casts aside God and puts man in the center of it all, judging everything from the eyes of man. The philosophy of God casts aside man and puts God in the center of it all, judging everything from the eyes of God. The basic principle of theological philosophy or theology is self-denial. It is to deny the egoistic view of the world, that is the self-oriented perspective, and the surrender to the divine view of the world, the God-oriented perspective.

The divine philosophy is difficult to accept for many people, as even now they interpret the words of God in the words of man, which is why the Church even now is divided. It is simply the common nature of man to accept their own faults, instead of struggling to overcoming them as much as they can. The reason it is difficult is it defies common understanding. Common understanding, that is human philosophy, states that for all things there must be an absolutely clear rational justification which everyone can agree upon. Divine understanding states that some fundamental truths require different kinds of justification, that is of the heart, and that justification might not be entirely rational. 

As the human is obsessed with pure rationality and has been trapped in their own shallow rationalism, it is difficult to understand the idea of God. However, divine rationality demands of us an acceptance of a different kind of rationality, that is the rationality of the heart. We are to see God on evidences of the heart, motions of the heart, and understandings of the heart. And this evidence of the heart shall be revealed as easy as the sensation of the world. Without the heart, no man can ever see God.

With this writing I wish to express that I may be going to abandon human philosophy and instead pursue divine philosophy. Human philosophy is in my eyes worthless, meaningless, and a waste of resources. Those on the humanist side has actually stated the same about theology, that theology is worthless, meaningless, and a waste of resources. So we view the same about each other, and only God and His time shall reveal who is right about who.

Obviously human philosophy isn't completely and utterly worthless, it is only so when divorced from theology. I have uttered this sentiment multiple times, that human reasoning must never be divorced from divine revelation. Once it is divorced, man will lead himself to his own destruction and demise. When combined with theology, human philosophy becomes an important tool and weapon to enlighten the world about the truth of this reality and how we are to lead our lives. However, currently I wish to take a break from the tiring endeavor of human philosophy and rest in God's revelations.

Writing 5

 Is there a rational justification comprehensible to the human mind on God's teaching? If there is, then the words of the Bible shall be fulfilled, that no man can make an excuse for their disbelief. However, even for a stubborn believer as I am, I still can find no clear rational justification on the teachings of God, be it His existence, His nature, or His commands. As such, I see faith as walking on top of nothing, a literal void of being. Obviously you cannot walk on nothing, you "fall", or more accurately you float. That is perhaps the magic of faith, it's not supposed to work, but it simply works.

This is a problem as how will God render out His justice to mankind when the time comes? God knows that mankind has problems comprehending anything, let alone Himself. However, God's argument is that man can comprehend it, and man should choose to comprehend it. As in the words of Paul that "For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse." (Romans 1:20). So it seems that a gentle look at creation shall reveal God to the eyes of man, but it is only because man refuses to see, that their minds are darkened and their hearts hardened.

Yet even I do not see God in creation, instead I must close my eyes from this world to see God in His splendor. So what am I lacking which Paul has? I cannot even reason there, and now it seems it is going to hurt my mind to even attempt to reason to the majesty of God. Supposedly the capacity to believe in God is a gift, a grace from God. Of course, we are naturally able to believe in God, but original sin corrupts our being from being able to see God, and so the capacity of faith must be restored by God. Supposedly all humans are given this gift of faith, but they are given the freedom to either accept it or reject it.

I trust in God that He shall reveal things to me as I need it to be revealed to me. 

Writing 4

 If we consider that existence is the greatest category of all things, as shown by Writing 2, then we must assume that there are no things which do not exist. A non-existent thing is a contradictory statement, a fault of language and logic. However, if the set of all symbols are greater than the set of all real non-symbolic things, then to what do the set of these failed symbols point? Do they point towards actually existent things but are unapproachable to us beings, or are they simply faulty arrangements of symbols which fail, as they fail to represent anything at all?

Let us consider 2 examples, a simple example of "A married single person" and a more abstract example of "A non-existent object". The first example is clearly a contradiction. A person who is single is clearly unmarried. So one cannot be both single and married in the same exact way. The condition of single and marriage are mutually exclusive and thus must possess a different logical space. If a person is single and married at the same time, it must be that there is not absolutely one person, but there are 2 persons of the same category, one being single and one being married. 

However, it is clear that these contradictions can be interpreted in numerous ways. There are ways to intepret them such that they become possible, but there are also ways where they are still impossible. To resolve all contradictions, we must reduce it to its essence, that is an object being both absent and present in the same way. This is the essence of all contradictions. While there are some contradictions where it is more of the union of 2 different things and instead of between a thing and a nothing, those contradictions are resolvable.

The resolution of one type of contradictions is by declaring that it is possible for a thing to be the union of 2 or more other things at once. These things are necessarily called unions. Unions are apparent contradictions of logic, but in plain view there is no law restricting against unions, we simply cannot reach them with empirical experience, but the rational experience extends through them and reaches them in a quick manner. The problem lies with a type of union which involves an object and a non-object, that is nothing.

The union between an object and nothing destroys our common understanding of reality, as supposedly the existence will cancel out the non-existence in the same logical space. However, it is not unthinkable that such a union can come about, and perhaps, "union" is simply the default state of reality. The default state of reality is that of a union of all things contained within reality. Therefore, all statements are absolutely true. For there is always a perspective or point of view or condition where a particular statement is true in all senses of that statement. However, this is only in the absolute sense, in the relative sense, this is where the distinction between truth and falsehood come about.

Writing 3

It seems that I cannot change my ways of writing, I return to this pattern of writing writings which are not necessarily correlated with each other. When faced with the task of writing, I see exhaustion and tiredness, even when I have practically done nothing. I feel lonely. I feel Godless. I feel disconnected from God, and so I haven't been doing what He asks of me. Am I able to do those things? For sure I am, I know I am. So it is then a matter of choice, a negligent choice to not pay attention to the things of God. It is a matter of sin, and not mere "weakness". 

My God, help me. Yet what if You have delivered help, and I ignore all of the help that You have given? For sure You have given me scriptures, prayers, sacraments, and the entirety of the Church. Yet I take no care towards them and go on my own path. I am weakened due to ignoring Your will and I sink to the bottom of despair. You have given me help, always, it is I who reject Your aid and Your graces. Forgive me my God, and though I know how selfish and unworthy of me to ask You this, help me to be able to receive Your grace as You have given me in the Church. Resurrect me, oh Lord, so I may be a man of You, a man of Easter.