My Faith and the World

Introduction

This is not a writing suggested completely by the Holy Spirit or by God, but a writing that I have my own desires of creating due to the remembrance of the everlasting conflict between my faith and thus my being and the world. However, I have obtained the permission of the Lord to write this, and that He shall aid me in writing this writing, for my sake, and for the sake of those who by chance encounter this reflection.

Goodness

I believe that goodness is in God, for God is goodness Himself. This is known to me by the teachings of the Church and by what He has revealed to me Himself. Therefore, anything good can be connected back to God and must be related to God. This has been a source of tension and contradiction within myself, that I lose all interest in the world and have interest only in things in relation to God. So if I were to obtain any goodness in this world, it is related to God. 

Value in the World

I do not believe that there is any value in the world if separated by God. Things are good and thus valuable only in union or relationship with God, divorced from God all things become vain and meaningless. At least, this is what I understand.

God is the only "thing" worth pursuing

I do not see how anything in this world is worth pursuing if not for the pursuit of God. Does this mean I think most people are having vain pursuits and struggling in an empty manner? Yes. Yet it is a difficult thing to pursue God. And there is the fact that I am terrible still in doing this, I am not so sure on my works of mercy. I believe I have very little works commendable or worthy of recognition by God. Because I do not know what work I must do, what work God wills me to do, and what opportunity of love and mercy that I can use.

The Will of God

As I have difficulties thinking up of great works of mercy, I simply seek the will of God, for Him to dictate to me what must be done, and I simply do what He wills of me. I am reminded by my dad the danger of losing your mind, yet I feel that it is a good thing in a sense. Of course we can never be free of thought, but for the very least, we think only to discern the will of God. Once the will of God is known, no more thought is done, other than to serve Him.

Interest and Sadness

In the end, I am interested only in God. If I can avoid all other vain and meaningless work, I shall pursue the priesthood once more and be an eternal servant of God. Yet it saddens me as in my interest in God I feel like I am struggling. At the same time this is meant to happen as Jesus has declared that it will be a struggle, I will suffer greatly, I will deny myself, I will take up the cross.

What if God tells me to pursue a worldly thing? No matter, it will be done and I shall have some joy as I know that it is in the glorification of the Lord, that it is in His service.